If you had the resources to spend a year doing whatever you’d like, and you chose the goal of becoming wise, what would you do with the year?
Well I really just want to finish this damn cookbook! I have had some time off (though the prospect of an entire year is pretty slim…) and I have done nothing but procrastinate. That’s not entirely true – I have been setting up the new kitchen (slow going there), I got all my recipes, the manuscript and notes out in plain sight – & I have delved into a couple of recipes. But they are quite difficult to work with, with having to cut the yields into half or less. I have also started a few pages of notes, but nothing that correlates with the issues I am having with the recipes, which is a gap I should figure out how to gap next.
As far as the whole wisdom bit goes, the main premise of the book is – cooking really tasty food, from scratch, as easily as possible. I felt that I had learned some crucial keys as to how this might be done, after putting in my time in at the Diner. But at this point, I am totally lost. I have always fancied myself a pretty domestic girl – but here in this huge old house, and with the extreme elements of Alaska living, I feel totally out of my depth. I know it will just take time to adjust and acclimate, but while I am trying to get these fundamentals of survival down, the book ends up languishing, untouched and lonely.
I could probably count all of the meals that I have cooked in this house’s kitchen on my fingers and toes (as long as you don’t consider throwing a pizza in the oven, or tossing a box o’ fro at the microwave, “cooking”) – and I’ve been here about two months. I will say though, I fully expected to hit this particular wall. I am convinced that I need to find a whole new angle from which to approach the vast topic of food.
There are the environmental & sociopolitical aspects to consider, and then there is a whole arena of emotional crap…and then there’s the simple logistics of cooking. Any one of these topics would be worthy of their own book – and there are already an abundance of books available on each of them, or some combination of the topics. But what I really want to create here is a representation of my Diner experience (& the preceding experiences that followed quite “organically” if you will…was that another pun? drat), which would require a word on all of the above – and then there’s the recipes… about which I am slowly realizing how much more work they are still going to need.
At least I have the original recipes typed up, so I can edit the text from there – that is definitely a start, but all the leg work remains. & back to the nut of the thing – I can’t write about cooking unless I am cooking. Well, I could, but it would be crap. I know it all on a theoretical level – but I need to be living it. And not just for the sake of the book, but for my own health, budget, and general sense of self.
I think I need to meditate or something, to find the first foothold to start the process…
So I got a call today about this bookkeeper we had back at the Diner – some checks, in the check-number range that she had been using for payroll cleared the Diner’s bank account last night.
They totaled an amount of about three grand – and guess who’s fucking signature is on them?
They are made out to two different girls, one of whom has the same last name as myself, which is interesting… & my X appears courtesy of the original signature stamp I had made when we bought the place. We decided that it was to thin and light, so I had another made that was bolder. When the bookie was fired, a signature stamp was collected from her office, but only one of them. We had forgotten about the existence of the other.
We were never able to prosecute her for all the thieving she did earlier on, it was considered a white-collar-crime, and a low priority. But now that silly bitch is back at it again, and I hope that some felony charges will stick to her greasy hide this time.