Kids, these days!

What makes you feel like you’re still a kid?

Bonus: What makes you feel like an adult? If you’re not an adult, what do you think will make you feel like an adult.

I have a two-sided answer to that, side one is actually a question…

What is it, exactly – to feel like a kid? I think that the knee-jerk, stock-answer to that is; this magical sense of wonder and innocence, right? But does anyone out there remember how scary and powerless being a kid can feel? The emotion of ” I don’t know how this works/get the joke/have any money…”?

I know that the notion of preserving one’s childlike nature is a noble goal indeed, or at least something to consider from time to time, but I just wanted to take a second to recap that childhood was not all popsicles and rainbows. OK?

Good, now that we have covered that bit of malaise, I’ll expand upon how I got there… So my computer quit working, I mean it was still 90% working, but I couldn’t use my CD or DVD drives… ANNOYING!

So I was screwing around with drivers and hardware and getting a bit more defeated feeling at every turn, and complaining to my father about it, because that is his primary purpose in life, to listen to me bitch (kidding). And he just happened to have an old Dell tower sitting around in storage, that had some issues with the display, but is otherwise twice the machine I have been using for however long now.

So I started working on the thing, switched out a memory chip, and tried cleaning up all the old messes the last owner had left, but no dice. So I just reinstalled the operating system… I am probably one of the last people on the planet still running Windows XP, but I don’t care – as far as I am concerned, XP, is like a big box of Crayolas… You will never create a Van Gogh with them, he used oils. But you could actually still whip up a pretty nice likeness with enough time and attention…or you could make your own creation, because you aren’t Van Gogh anyhow, and you might as well be grateful of that little fact, because that guy had a pretty rough go of it.

My point is, all the colors are here…I can do what I need to do, and I can have plenty of fun with it as well, I just might have to wait three to five seconds longer for something to load, & my monitor is one of those big heavy numbers, not the new,slim & light LCD jobbies. But the damn thing works!

Hooray for dinosaurs! 😀

However it has taken me a good two days now, putting in 8 hour shifts or longer to put this beast together…and it’s not because I don’t know what I’m doing…I have reinstalled XP at LEAST a dozen times now (I seem to break stuff, not sure why, exactly…) and that is why I liken the experience to a box of crayons…once you run through the motions enough times, you learn what you need, what you don’t and you can more or less make your own landscape….

I have never gone for those new OS’s because they just don’t let me tweak stuff! But back to the notion of being a frustrated child, I didn’t have any of the installation disks…so I have been hunting around the internet for all of the right drivers and programs, and there has been a lot of hits and misses going on.

I guess that is what is reminding me of the kid experience…that teeter tottering of emotions, from “yesssss! ♪ I got a new toy ♫ – this is the most awesome thing on the face of the planet…” to – “fuuuuuck! (I started swearing at an early age) the damn thing doesn’t work! this is retarded where’s mom?!”

However, at this point, I am pleased to report that this is pretty much the coolest toy ever, or at least the most streamlined system I have ever put together, and it looks good too. Oh! and to anyone out there who has been fighting with Outlook for the past decade or so? I have one word for you…Thunderbird – why didn’t anyone tell me that? Huh?

I mean, I thought you people were my friends…

So to conclude, feeling like a kid, for me stems from experiencing emotional imbalances, largely caused by simple physical desires, such as wanting candy, shiny things, or a good internet connection. Also, living with my father inspires a sense of childlike indulgence, especially when I get presents!

Conversely, feeling like an adult is brought about by being half way done with my second beer before noon, and cursing myself for spending $29.99 on a stupid program that doesn’t do much of anything…not the first time that’s happened – but in the spirit of evolution, let’s entertain the notion that it might possibly be the last! Not likely – but it’s possible.

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