Chuck it…

Write about something you want to do, but know you shouldn’t.

Bonus: Ambivalence, or conflicting feelings, are more common than most people let on. Why do you think this is? Or are you ambivalent about ambivalence?

Well right now, I am pretty overwhelmed with all of this crap I own – and honestly, I would like to just make a lot of it go away. I know, that probably sounds fairly sensible to most people – after all it’s oh-so trendy to be a non-consumer-ist minimalist. But what I am proposing here is more like nihilism…

My ambivalence here, is that what I would like to do is throw it all in the back of  a truck and cart it all off to the dump. That would be very bad…hopefully what will actually happen is that I will sort through it all mindfully, creating different piles for the thrift store, the used book store, and recycling. Very little will go to the land-fill. But in doing so, I will cave and end up keeping twice as much crap. And honestly, that whole process sounds like I total fucking nightmare that I will now put off for god knows how long – I have hardly been able to get a single day off this month so who knows when on Earth I will find time for the project anyhow…

Hence my desire to just heist the trash truck from Dad’s work and call it good…

And as far as ambivalence goes – I feel that way about just about anything. I am ambivalent about doing those things I most desire. I get ambivalent about eating, even when I’m really hungry…if breathing weren’t an automatic function, I would probably think twice before engaging in that as well…


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