Assuming there is some “there” other than “here”.
Essentially, my current state could be easily summed up by observing my WordPress home page. It bears an outdated photo of me, looking vaguely pissed off, and is then followed by a large grey void. Why am I upset? I have no good reason for it, really… & what is it that lies before me? Nothing that is particularly discernible. The only truly notable aspect is that I obviously don’t really grasp how this thing works, or – I assure you, it would be plastered in pretty things…
When I began this blog, it was quite invigorating for me. Something of a relief or an escape from the monotony of real life, but after a short time it simply began to accentuate what has been missing from my life… (acute at that – so do that, do that) but that, in turn, drove me back to The Book, the heart of the matter itself.
& that was a fine little adventure, I chewed on that bone for a week or two, with so much enthusiasm, in fact, that the whole of it was gnawed through quite thoroughly. Not unlike the fashion in which my pit-bull, Mu will chew up a raw chicken neck (yes of course they are free-range and organic – what sort of heathen do you take me for?). Such a gory & intense delight! & then it’s gone – where did it go!?!
I saved it from the ethers, rewrote the endings of the chapters, and then went through to edit for typos, missing segues, and inaccurate parsings of words…
I worked on it obsessively, for hours. Honestly the most pleasant hours I have spent in months – or at least the one. Beware the ides of March! & in a crescendo to the operation, I bought from New Moon this hunk of a book…
The Encyclopedia of Healing Foods, by Michael Murray N.D.
What the hell is a N.D.? Just a sec…oh, OK – so he didn’t go to Notre Dame, but he did go somewhere, to study Natural Medicine. Well THAT doesn’t sound very credible – now does it? Actually this is now apparently co-authored by Joseph Pizzorno – another N.D., and his wife Lara, who has an M.A. in divinity, and another in literature? Man, I am so uneducated, I can’t even read other peoples stats right. Which is ok, really – I love these cats, who list their cats, in the acknowledgments, & I still sound so undermining…
If you could see & feel the girth of this volume, you too would concede that these people are not kidding around. I have been in need of a more reliable resource than Wikipedia (who I love now & forever) for some time now. & this book just started screaming at me from the shelf the other day.
You see, in my line of work, we are expected to know what is good or who, and when. and where exactly did that come from? Uh-huh, and which peoples was it that first used that species medicinally? Ok – so it’s not always that hard core, but sometimes…
Between my jobs of, juicing, at a health food store – and the book, I have had cause to stop and wonder – why is this thing good for you? and then I hear about articles like this one from the New York Times…
& it becomes clear that there is much more than meets the eye with food! One could easily make the case for fruits & veggies in particular, though it was exactly that line of preachiness, of second-hand veganism that I found myself most ardently erasing from the rough draft. But please let me add that cucumber juice is so light & refreshing, and it takes kindly to so many lovely accents like mint, ginger, &/or citrus…just remember to peel them first!
To be perfectly honest – I do feel that vegetarianism is a superior diet… But on the other hand, I am not currently a practicing vegetarian (or Buddhist), at the moment, because I am too fucking frazzled, distressed, and depressed to be otherwise. Might my state of mind be hinged upon my diet? Yep, probably.
& what might I do to change that? well, here is where the depression part really sets in, and at that point it is all I can do to keep my self from buying a bottle of vodka and stashing it in my closet, for, um, convenience.
Because I clearly recognize that as unhealthy behavior, that would cross a very distinct line. Which is indeed, not the line I am desirous of crossing. We tallied today, what it means, that Billy manages to turn 7 cents on a dollar at the Moon.
What it means to make a profit. & from there what consequences & further responsibilities might follow. But really, since the Diner – nay – since birth, this was the first time that I had effectively understood, that a profit might be made – that such a thing is possible.
Of course, it certainly helps to be in the club, first.
But I digress, that is not the point! that is the antithesis of the point. Which is, that it is my personal goal to make healthy eating habits accessible to society as a whole – to make real, honest health accessible to society as a whole.
Not just the absence of disease.
& this is something that is really just about too far ingrained in current society’s psyche to be openly recognized. Like the inequality inherent in feminism, or race, it is simply so common, that it is thought to be natural.
Though it is not – this inequity is false. As we shall see.