Alright, I must confess, I have been unfaithful!
I actually have three blogs, and they are all special to me…
I mean it –
Tribe is my middle ground, I have a certain level of anonymity there, since I live over 100 miles from any of my alleged friends on the list.
Myspace is where I rant freely, though that happens to be the place where I have the most impressive reader stats, we all know that no one remembers Myspace anymore – it’s just one of those things that I do all alone, like smoking cigarettes – but it makes me happy, see – so no, I will not quit!
& then we have WordPress, my personal entry in the big-league, where my readership, on any given day has rang in with the formidable high score of two – most likely my best friend in Oz, and La la, my favorite co-worker. Yeah that’s right, the rest of humanity can kiss my ass…
So this entry is something of an addendum, or at least a band-aid over my last blog in the Space, written in a certified funk, directly after hearing that the IRS had decided to go ahead and seize my tax refunds after all, putting me in something of a financial pinch, but of course nothing I can’t handle. It was on that day that I proclaimed to hate my job, among other things. & I suppose that that is not entirely true, but I certainly have been excessively frustrated over the past few weeks.
Namely after returning from my vacation to Portland, which included a quick overview of Cali’s wine country – followed by the Redwoods on the way up, & a tour or the Pacific coast on the way back down.
These previously mentioned locales happen to be my favorite places on the planet – and granted, I have not seen the bulk of the planet, yet remain confident that no other land will ever win over my heart from the lower Northwest. So after spending a week and a half in the places I love, and with the people I most admire, I return here, to these mountains (that are also most dear to me), and to my Father (who gets top billing for sure), but also to the drudgery of a job, and an general daily existence that is, frankly, sub-par.
Then we had a health inspection at work, my end of things passed with flying colors, I know this game quite well by now, thank you. But other portions of the store had some difficulties, and rightfully so, if I may say. & I never received any thanks or approval for my efforts, only one brief comment, from the boss, that did seem rather tainted with, might I say, resentment?
OK, so let’s be fair – it would seem that boss-man is having some issues of his own to contend with, and I can understand that, but it would be much clearer if any of this were ever communicated with the staff. But it is not, we are left to ourselves for the most part, which is fine as well. But I must say that after observing the general mood towards the health department, and other defined aspects of reality, that the higher management holds, I have more or less lost my taste for moving forward on any projects at the Moon. I will do what is expected of me, in respect to the bar itself, but will not acquiesce to any expansion of the site. It simply is not worth the fight, nor my time.
So many people go on about what I ought to be feeling about my current situation and status in life, all painted in happy pastels and shades of smoothie, but here is how I really feel about the matter, and this is something that I have proclaimed only to my father – in private…& that is, since I do not have to work in an actual sweat-shop, and that because I do still possess all of my limbs, I ought to be just sooo grateful. & yes, this is terribly cynical of me, but it is a thought that meanders through my head, day after day. & still, all that I am able to conjure up is an “ought to be” of gratitude, never the real deal.
What’s a girl to do?