Hello old friend! I have come back to you for assistance…
I woke up today with a hangover, in a room that seems to have exploded into chaos while I wasn’t looking! I just finished a one month house sitting gig, that was such a wonderful experience – taking care of two beautiful labs (Charlie & Boo, they’s my bitches!) and two crazy cats (Indie & Addy, the tiny Snow Leopards), in the most gorgeous house I have ever stayed in. & I been some pretty nice places in my day…
But I packed up in a hurry with the ever present surplus of liquor boxes any decent bar tender can always rustle up in a pinch – threw it all in the back of my truck, drove us all off the island and back to the Highlands – then spent the next few days working a pretty busy weekend AND going out dancing afterwards, which is not the norm for me these days.
So I feel so blessed and lucky, but I also feel like I have been hung over all weekend – and this is the biggest mess I have ever made in this room. I don’t even know where to begin… Especially since I just need to move again soon! I have a good solid month to plan it all out and make it happen, but being on a regular schedule of working 6 nights a week doesn’t make for much spare time, or reserves of energy. So I came here to th Press to hash things out a bit and begin this heroic feat of house keeping right here in me noggin’.
The floor is covered in half full boxes, so I intend to organize them and fill them further. There is sooo much “stuff” that is really just in my possession because it is pretty. It makes me happy to have some pretty things about, but they can go safely into boxes today, & said boxes can go on the shelf space they leave behind. The real tricky part is when you get to the moderately useful stuff, which you then have to decide whether or not you can manage without for a month… which of course you can, but it seems so much more dubious when the boxes come out. Things begin to have more gravity when there are boxes on the loose.
But I will be brave, I will pick and choose – and I think I will even start taking down some art, which is yet another symbolic and vaguely morose undertaking. I suppose just keeping in mind the next new room, and how happy our reunion will be on the other side of all this mess will help me to endure. Yes, this will be the room to stay in for the winter! I am so excited! It is big, with a vaulted ceiling, it is in a house full of friends, and it is back on the beautiful island that I have fallen in love with over the past month or so. Douglas is amazing and gorgeous, and covered in trails, just waiting to be explored! Ever since I was a bitty, I have always loved trails and waterfalls, and this place is absolutely riddled with them!
Alright, so I’m feeling a bit more pumped, and a little less headachy (The Saint cider, the most benevolent hair of the dog has helped there). Now I just have to turn this chair around and take a look at the mess with a more critical eye. Organization is really key when it comes to boxes.
OK then, here we go…
Yesterday my pal/landlord lent me his oldskool big-screen to use in my room. The result was that my cluttery little cave has been transformed into a movie theatre/computer laboratory, which, in case you aren’t sure, it utterly awesome. I geeked out on Netflix, the movie Stranger Than Fiction,(<3) and my favourite, Neopets Solitaire, which SUCKS if you have to roll the screen down each time you play a card…. but now my aspect ratio is so huge – it’s like I can see the entire tinterweb all at once!!! Which honestly had me laughing maniacally with glee at several intervals last night.
So then this morning I thought to my self, (Self, I thought) You could totally watch th news, like you used ta! But I am also reading Stephen King”s Cujo at the moment, which is 1. kind of cool, like playing some old vinyl 45s…& 2. not nearly so scary as th news these days.
Oh, hey bloggie, how you been? I have probably pretty much lost my mind at this point, but overall – I am well.
I said “goodbye” to the man I spent the last three years of my life with today. In a public setting, which may or may not have been a wise decision, as I spent half the time crying at the table, and our poor waitress was like “what the hell?” but in a very polite and confused sort of way… And we ended up ordering one of those salads that you assemble yourself on the plate, which just wasn’t working for me – so I was throwing romaine and green beans around with my hands crying, “how the hell do I eat this thing!?”
But I powered through and it’s done now.
I find myself at an interesting cross roads, where I am essentially in Alaska, Alone. & all I really know for sure is that I don’t want to leave – as crazy as that might sound. You wouldn’t believe how pretty it is here…! Anyhow, things are progressing, it’s summer in AK, and Astronomar is playing Fish Fest, so there is one true thing I know in this world. I am going dancing. And I’m gonna dance it like it’s my last chance.
So things are getting strange again. I am getting ready to move for the umpteenth time in my life (& realistically, this is probably move number 30-something, to commemorate my 35th birthday?) and I don’t really know where I am going to live at all! I have a friend I can stay with for the summer, and the local housing market really opens up in the fall, but I still just don’t know what is going to work for me any more.
All I want is a nice warm little place, where I could safely spend the winter, and if deemed worthy, mebe even get a pup. But I have MS now, which changes things – and the idea of simply living alone has lost a lot of it’s allure. But at the same time, I really suck at sharing a kitchen.
Anyhow, I am kind of just throwing myself out there, and kicking myself out of yet another relationship as well. At least his mother and daughter will be here to help him pick up the pieces, and at other least I’m not just being silly and flighty this time. I won’t get into the details here, but the time is definitely nigh. Spread the ol’ wings and fly. I just hope they still work…
Today I had a beautiful day at the beach with a dear friend, her giant chocolate lab, and her adorable blue eyed baby boy! I also rediscovered how to post photos, from my new fancy camera, to my crazy old blog… (WordPress has done some evolving while I’ve been away).
So this isn’t the greatest photo, (tho Gastineau Channel doesn’t really have a bad side to shoot) and this is not the greatest post either – but today is about baby steps, folks. And maintaining patience and gratitude all along the way.
More to come, hopefully soon, this could really all come together quite nicely!
I finally disconnected my blog from Facebook!! I owe thanks to Cheri Lucas Rowlands, in her Writing Through The Fog post; Blogging, Rediscovered (or Finding the Right Space) – where she describes how reformatting her blog space has allowed her to write again.
It was a very pleasant and inspiring read, but the whole time I was just thinking, fucking Facebook ruined my blog… for some reason I don’t mind blabbing away for any and all to read on the tinterweb, but it got way too claustrophobic having all of said blabbing pointed out, in an inherently arrogant format – to everyone I really actually know!
And now it’s gone – which means I’m back, bitches🙂